元教員が分かりやすく教える英文法

ばか丁寧な高校英文法

TOIEC985点を取得した元高校教員が、使える例文を用いながら、苦手な人にも分かりやすく英文法を解説します。

【広島大学過去問】自由英作文「我が国の女性の就労は今後どうあるべきか?」模範解答&丁寧解説

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前回の続きです。

 問題28f:id:chachachambo:20171130155655j:plain

【B】我が国の女性の就労は今後どうあるべきだと考えますか。その理由を含めて90語程度の英語で書きなさい。

模範解答

私が書いたエッセイを見てみましょう

〖私が受験生ならこう書きます〗
Nowadays, more and more women wish to keep working after their marriage or childbirth, but the working environment in Japan makes it difficult for them to do so.
One big problem we're facing is that we don't have enough daycare centers and there are so many children on the waiting list.
Mothers of those children, therefore, cannot go back to work because they have to take care of their children by themselves.
To solve this problem, the government should establish more facilities where mothers can leave their children so that they can start working.

f:id:chachachambo:20180210114504j:plain

模範解答を見てみましょう

〖模範解答〗
These days, a larger percentage of Japanese women work outside of their homes. It is now more important than ever to make changes in the workplace o\to accommodate these working women. Since many women have families and can only work part-time, their jobs are less secure and their wages are still lower. The government must change labor laws and workplace policies to help these women. They can do this by making changes for women who are also raising children at home by establishing more nursery schools and by providing more accessible and affordable daycare.

ふりかえり

〖私の模範解答〗
待機児童について書きました。
Nowadays, more and more women wish to keep working after their marriage or childbirth,
「近年、より多くの女性が結婚や出産の後も働き続けることを希望しています」

but the working environment in Japan makes it difficult for them to do so.
「しかし、日本の労働環境が彼女たちがそうすることを難しくしています」
※"makes it difficult to do so"
        V     O      C
SVOCの第五文型です(O=Cの関係が成り立つ文)
Oである"it"は仮に置かれた目的語で本当の目的語は後ろにある"to do so"です。
soの内容は前述の「結婚や出産後も働き続けること」

One big problem we're facing is that we don't have enough daycare centers and there are so many children on the waiting list.
私たちが直面している大きな問題は、十分な保育園がなく、待機児童がいることです」
※「待機児童」を"children on the waiting list"で表現しました。

Mothers of those children, therefore, cannot go back to work because they have to take care of their children by themselves.
「そういう子どもの母親は、仕事復帰できません。なぜなら、自分で子どもの面倒を見なければならないからです」

To solve this problem, the government should establish more facilities where mothers can leave their children so that they can start working.
この問題を解決するために、政府は母親たちが子どもを預けて職場復帰できるように多くの施設(保育園)を作るべきです」

f:id:chachachambo:20180210114504j:plain

〖模範解答〗
These days, a larger percentage of Japanese women work outside of their homes.
「近年、より多くの数の日本人女性が家の外で働いています」

It is now more important than ever to make changes in the workplace to accommodate these working women.
「こういった働く女性を受け入れるために、職場に変革を起こすことが一層大事です」

Since many women have families and can only work part-time, their jobs are less secure and their wages are still lower.
「多くの女性が家庭を持っていて、パートタイムでしか働けないので、彼女たちの仕事は安定せず賃金が低いままです」

The government must change labor laws and workplace policies to help these women. 
「政府は、こういう女性を助けるために労働法と就労規則を変えなければいけません」

They can do this by making changes for women who are also raising children at home by establishing more nursery schools and by providing more accessible and affordable daycare.
「もっと多くの託児所を作ったり、安価で利用しやすい保育園を提供することで、自宅で子どもを育てる女性のために改革し、それ(前文の内容)が達成できます」